Narcissism is not as rare as people think – research says

We have become accustomed to regurgitating one myth: true narcissism is rare. People don’t question this myth, and some clinicians promote it without looking into actual research. Where did this definitive idea of ​​scarcity come from? here it is actual The numbers we have.Any Unbelievably The small “rare” statistics estimated for narcissistic personality disorder are based on clinical populations and are unlikely to represent the true general population, as most narcissists never seek help. Some of the estimates we have made are do In a 2008 study of 34,653 adults, the lifetime prevalence of NPD in the general population was up to 6.2%. Some estimates are as high as 14.73%, based on various regional samples from older studies, according to Dr. Elsa Ronningstam, an associate clinical professor at Harvard Medical School. A variety of products are also available for clinical personnel. 1.3%– 17% Prevalence when considering different studies. And narcissistic personality disorder is not the only full-fledged disorder that we must consider. Characteristics of narcissism It may not necessarily fully meet the criteria for a disorder, but it still leaves an impact. According to a 2021 meta-analysis of 437 studies. Characteristics of narcissism Because it is associated with many forms of aggression, it can cause harm even if it is not diagnosed as a disorder. There are no estimates of how many people who have only subclinical traits of narcissism have the full-blown disorder.

Narcissism may actually be on the rise in the population, according to researchers

Researchers also say narcissism may be on the rise among the population. “The University of Georgia’s Department of Psychology is a great place to start,” said W. Keith Campbell, chair of the psychology department at the University of Georgia. Point out one thing…narcissism is on the rise. Researchers Twenge and Campbell analyzed Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI) data from 85 studies with a total of 16,475 American adults and found that narcissism increased by 30% among college students. found that this is higher than previous generations. Another study found that 9.4% of Americans in their 20s have experienced narcissistic personality disorder during their lifetime, a higher rate than older generations. However, self-reports in older generations may be biased.

Another major problem with claiming that narcissism is definitively rare is the fact that many narcissists who attend therapy are high-functioning or have been ordered to do so by a court. We may underestimate how many narcissists there are in the general population who never ask for help, hide their traits, and only launch attacks behind closed doors. Due to the nature of this disorder, or simply its characteristics, people with narcissistic tendencies behave completely differently in front of the general public and know how to reveal their true selves behind closed doors. So why do people and even some experts wonder how many narcissists there are in our society, when the true nature of this disorder is “hidden” from the very people who try to hold narcissists responsible? Do they act confident when they know exactly what they are doing? ?

What about psychopathy?

When it comes to psychosis, the rate is actually even rarer, ranging from 4.5% to 1.2% of the general population when using the gold standard Hare Psychosis Checklist (PCL-R) as a measure. But surprisingly, it is estimated that 30% of the general population has the following symptoms: Some psychopathic features Estimated by psychosis researchers such as Dr. Abigail Marsh (not full-blown psychopathy). Dr. Martha Stout, a psychologist at Harvard University, estimates that one in 25 people in the United States does not have a conscience. Again, we don’t know the actual percentage of people with NPD, or even just narcissistic or psychopathic traits, nor do we have a clinical “verdict” . We can only make educated guesses based on available research. However, given the millions of testimonies of survivors caught up in toxic relationships with narcissists’ partners, friends, and family members, and the fact that narcissists victimize many targets throughout their lives, we find that It is highly likely that the word “narcissism” is not overused. ” (which can refer to a characteristic on a spectrum) – we may actually be underestimating its impact as a society.

No, survivors of narcissistic partners aren’t “making things up” or overusing the term – and research shows this

A common myth floating around is the idea that people “overuse” the term. This is highly problematic and inaccurate. Research shows that “informant” ratings of an individual’s narcissism from loved ones tend to be as accurate as expert ratings of the same individual and more accurate than self-reports from narcissistic individuals themselves. there is. This should come as no surprise to anyone familiar with the subject or who has experienced a narcissist who refuses to take responsibility. Of course, those closest to the narcissist know their “true self” and know the manipulative traits and behaviors they are capable of.

Furthermore, when we think about the word “narcissist” itself, we tend to police and police it. A narcissist is descriptive A term that refers to traits such as a lack of empathy, an excessive sense of entitlement, grandiosity, and ruthlessness. When someone labels a partner with such traits and long-standing manipulative behavior, that person is actually using the word “narcissist” correctly. This is a descriptive term, not a diagnosis, and should not be considered a diagnosis. As a researcher who has spoken to thousands of survivors of narcissistic and psychopathic partners, it is extremely rare for me to come across a survivor who “overuses” this term. In fact, they tend to come to this conclusion after enduring a lot of gaslighting, and after a lot of introspection and struggle with remorse. They often share excruciating horror stories of experiencing a lack of empathy at the hands of their partners or family members, yet leaving them with self-doubt. Those who police other survivors for how they describe perpetrators can be perceived as victim-blaming and shaming. If you haven’t experienced what they’re going through, you can’t tell them what they went through. It wasn’t like that Narcissistic abuse.

Narcissists usually don’t show up for therapy – and when they do, they gaslight

Some narcissists find themselves in treatment for a completely different problem than their actual core problem, such as depression (if a narcissist is depressed, the usual reasons for depression are (the narcissist may be depressed due to the loss of supply). depression), or drug use. Or maybe you’re being dragged into couples therapy by a spouse or partner who desperately wants you to improve your behavior. Either way, they continue to gaslight and usually don’t take off their “fake mask” around the therapist. This is part of what makes the prognosis for narcissistic personality disorder so difficult. Contrary to popular opinion, therapists can be fooled just like anyone else. Narcissists tend to use therapists to triangulate and confront their abused partners in order to make themselves appear innocent. If a therapist is not knowledgeable about trauma or familiar with its manipulative tactics (I have heard from thousands of survivors that some therapists do indeed fit into this category), they will disable the survivor. There may be a tendency to While there are certainly good and ethical therapists who advocate for survivors, we cannot ignore that there are also toxic therapists in the field. In the most extreme scenarios, I have heard of unethical therapists even having affairs with their clients’ narcissistic partners.

We must recognize that what we know about the tactics of narcissistic manipulators comes from the voices of survivors who have experienced them and from the advocates and researchers who have brought these dynamics to light. . These survivors have historically been invalidated for decades by many therapists and clinicians, some of whom have now disabled their victims when they were invalidating them until recently. Some take the position of experts. They were exposed to gaslighting for a long time until articles about narcissism went viral and eventually became a “trending” topic that people wanted to talk about. His one of my own books, published in 2016, was one of the first to collect stories from hundreds of survivors, but this had never happened before. At the time, therapists and researchers in the field had never studied large samples of survivors. My recent research study is the first to empirically establish a link between the experience of narcissistic traits in a partner and the development of PTSD, a topic that has been largely unexplored in previous research studies ( As a note, research endures very intense scrutiny before being published, and my research took into account multiple factors that can influence an individual’s PTSD).

This shows that the theme of narcissism did not come out of nowhere, and it took a lot of work for many people to bring it to the forefront. Over the past decade, narcissism has not been as commonly discussed and it has taken a tremendous amount of advocacy from people to create social change. But just because talking about narcissism is now considered a “trend” doesn’t make it any less effective. Just a few years ago, it was difficult to even bring it into the limelight. Narcissistic abuse is real and has consequences. We re-traumatize survivors when we claim that their experiences are not valid. Recognize the fact that millions of survivors who have had these experiences may resonate with the tactics and characteristics described, rather than continuing to invalidate survivors by pretending it is rare. The time has come. While you can certainly bring nuance to the conversation, it’s important not to gaslight survivors like you did 10 years ago.