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Been together for 10 years, married for 6 years and I think my relationship with my wife has reached a breaking point. Arguing much more often than we would like (3-4 times in the last week we spent at least an hour without talking to each other), don’t know how to make up or apologize, emotional or physical intimacy We rarely do anything together other than watching TV. We discuss these issues over and over and sometimes we can temporarily solve them, but in the end the same issues always come back. Complicating matters is that we have young children and live abroad in my wife’s home country. I don’t have any other real family or close friends here, and I can’t imagine staying here if we break up. But if I go back to America, my kids will grow up basically ignorant of me (maybe one day I can take them for the summer, but they know very little of me). Who knows if they’ll be willing to accept it, given that).
In my opinion, I have three options. The first is to persevere and hope my marriage improves as my children grow up and hopefully life gets a little easier. Even if I try to maintain a relationship with my children, I will leave and stay in a country where I don’t think I will be happy. Or do you accept little or no contact with your children and break up and go home? What do you think?
I thought this sounded like an impossible dilemma until I reread what exactly the problem in your relationship was. And I breathed a sigh of relief. I know the situation can feel endless, but “we argue far more often than we think (3 or 4 times in the last week we spent at least an hour without talking to each other. I had one), but I don’t know how to make up.” “No apologies, little emotional or physical intimacy, and we don’t do much together except watch TV” is great. It doesn’t represent the situation, and it doesn’t look too bad. We are not dealing with partners who are abusive, unfaithful, disrespectful, or fundamentally hate each other. you’re just not doing well. This is the kind of thing that couples are constantly working on, often by making a genuine effort to remember what brought them together in the first place. And thanks to the logistics, I have a higher motivation than most to make it work. I don’t think you need to start thinking about leaving your children in another country unless you leave out a lot of details or fail a lot trying to work things out. It is a fully solvable, couples therapy dynamic. Stop looking at airline tickets when you fly to meet someone.
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i live in the northeast. For many years I have taken a week off at the end of winter and traveled somewhere warm. Florida is my destination, but I will be withholding tourism funding from Florida until the current governor and his policies change. I have a relative, “Uncle Steve”. He lives in towns all over the country that meet all my vacation destination requirements. I would like to make this town my next destination. I will definitely tell Uncle Steve that I am going to town. Because if he is free, he wants to go with me during his stay. But I’m going to stay in a hotel (even if he offers me a guest room) because I prefer being able to set my own schedule when I’m on vacation. The town is also near another relative, ‘Mercy’, whom I hadn’t seen in a long time, so excited that I might visit and meet my young children for the first time. He said he was there.
My problem is my brother ‘Jim’ who lives in the same state. I know two things will happen when Jim finds out I’m going to “his shore”. He’ll soon want to make the 8 hour drive and hang out all week. Hurt that I chose Uncle Steve’s Town as my destination instead of Uncle Steve’s Town. To be honest, I just took a week off, spent an afternoon with Marcy and her kids, treated Uncle Steve to dinner or two, and didn’t turn her trip into her family’s reunion, only to spend the day at the pool. I just want to hang out on the side and read a book. So am I just complicating things by thinking of vacationing near Uncle Steve and Uncle Mercy? Or is there a way for Jim to clarify the purpose of the trip and my own expectations regarding it?
—Wanderer on the Fence
I think this will be a group email. “Hello. [insert location] family! We are moving our annual solo retreat to your neck of the woods this year. Alone time and recharging is an absolute necessity for me, but Florida just isn’t for me anymore. But I’m going to be nearby, so I’m hoping to see my family on Thursday and Friday and treat them to dinner before heading home. Uncle Steve, can you come over? Mercy? Jim, can I come visit you a few times? If not, start thinking about vacations, even though I know it’s a long drive. ”
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My same-sex spouse and I thankfully live in a very conservative small town in the Blue State. Recently, one of our service providers (think dog groomer) took to his personal social media page following the recent controversy surrounding his song “Try That in a Small Town.” “Jason he stands by Aldean,” posted. I use this page as a way to contact them, set appointments, etc. and saw this page when checking in on my next visit. Needless to say, we do not endorse Jason Aldean, nor the racism surrounding this song and video. I found another service provider, but I’m not sure what to do with the former. They are relatively new owners and just graduated from college, so I’m wondering if I should ghost them and unfriend them, or discuss why I should never use their services again. We know this kind of meme can appeal to a certain demographic, but it’s also harmful.
— don’t try this in a small town
dear little town
You can sign up to have your dog’s nails cut elsewhere, unfriend this business page and move on with your life. But if you have the time and want to make a statement (to shame the business, to educate the owner, to let other people reading the page know, or the possibility of being surprised by a meme) To show solidarity with a black customer, etc.) ) Go for it! How about adding a comment to the photo that says, “As a customer, I’m really disappointed to see this post,” followed by an excerpt from her Vox.com article by Aja Romano. This article nicely describes his critique of Aldean’s work.
The lyrics and accompanying video include Black Lives Matter protests, twilight towns (“Let’s see how far we can go down that road”) and white protectionism (“Good old boys… we We will take care of ourselves”) is repeated. The main location of this video was the scene of a historic lynching, with a particularly subtle jab. But any attempt to reveal this racist image inevitably brings up advocates for “try it in a small town.”
Replies contain things like “they have the right to post what they want”, “free speech”, “everyone is too sensitive these days”, etc. I think I understand. People love racism, struggle with reading comprehension, and are not thoughtful. But at least you will stand up for what you believe in.i have something to say that.
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Further advice from Slate
I am married to a nice, kind and funny man. Our married life is wonderful. We both disagree on most things that happen in life. But I’m the type who likes to snuggle up to sleep, and I can’t sleep when I’m touched. Plus, we sleep on each side of the bed because it feels so bad to break free from cuddling. My husband often cuddle the small dog and she is usually happy to put her to sleep in a variety of ways that would be very uncomfortable for me. But sometimes she doesn’t want to cuddle, so her husband hugs her.