A dramatic name, sure, but “Sleep Divorce” might just save you some sleep and guarantee you a good night’s sleep.
A recent study from the American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) showed that: more than a third of Americans Sometimes or always sleeping in a separate room from their partner, a condition known as “sleep divorce.”
“Sleep divorce” might sound bold, but if you have the space, a sleep divorce can help you get better sleep. Sleeping next to someone can negatively affect your sleep hygiene. Whether it’s snoring, talking in your sleep, or just someone else’s temperature, sleeping next to your partner can cause you to miss hours of vital sleep. And create resentment that ripples through the rest of the relationship.
Even the best mattress may not give you rest. If your partner is snoring, fidgeting, or tossing and turning, doing a sleep divorce can ensure you get all the sleep you need.
What is a “sleep divorce”?
Sleeping in a shared bed is the norm for many couples, but it doesn’t always lead to a great night’s sleep. In fact, sleeping in separate bedrooms can actually help you sleep better.This is called a “sleep divorce,” according to Dr. Lindsey Browningneurologist, psychologist, sleep specialist.
“Many people worry that not sharing a bed with their partner will hurt their relationship. It helps,” added Dr. Browning. “While snuggling with someone in the middle of the night can help release oxytocin (the love hormone), the potential benefits are negated if your partner is keeping you awake and irritable.”
A PhD from Oxford University, Dr Lindsey Browning is a Chartered Psychologist and an Associate Fellow of the British Psychological Association. She is also a member of the British Sleep Society and has published several publications on sleep and game theory. Dr. Browning is passionate about helping people of all ages sleep better.
of AASM found that 45% of men Only 25% of women said they sometimes or always sleep in a separate room. Dr. Seema Khosla, “We know that sleep deprivation can make you feel worse, and people who are sleep deprived are more likely to argue with their partners,” said a pulmonologist and AASM spokeswoman. You may have some resentment towards the person who caused your sleep disturbance, which can negatively affect your relationships. “
“Getting quality sleep is important for both health and well-being, so it’s no wonder some couples choose to sleep apart for their overall well-being,” Dr. Khosla adds. Ta.
Dr. Kosla is the medical director of the North Dakota Sleep Center. She is also a Fellow of the College of Thoracic Physicians and a Fellow of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM). Dr. Kosla was the founding Chair of the Clinical and Consumer Sleep Technology Committee, and she currently serves as Chair of the AASM Public Awareness Advisory Board.
When Should You Try a Sleep Divorce?
If your partner snores, you may have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep when sharing a bed. Not only is this frustrating for those who are awake, lack of sleep can cause irritability and affect physical and mental health if you are not getting the recommended amount of sleep. If your partner is snoring very loudly, especially during the night when they stop breathing noticeably or wake up gasping for breath, this indicates sleep apnea. “Sleep apnea is a serious condition that requires treatment because it can cause the patient to be sleep deprived and strain the heart. If you think you have, you should talk to your doctor about treatment,” Dr. Browning advises.
However, snoring isn’t the only problem that can arise when sharing a bed with others. When you share a bed with someone, your natural movements at night can interfere with your sleep. If you struggle with your bed being too hot or too cold, sharing your bed with others can make the problem worse. Sharing a bed with other people can make it too hot in bed, and if you share a comforter, it can be difficult to remove the bedspread.
best cooling bed sheets
Ettitude Signature Rain Set
If it’s too hot to sleep, the Ettitude sheet set made with CleanBamboo fabric is sleep experts’ choice for the best cooling sheets. She gets hot at night, but this set is naturally cool, temperature regulating, and smooth to the touch, these moisture-wicking sheets keep me (a sweaty sleeper) cool at night. She favored the silky look for luxury in the bedroom, but she warns that it doesn’t go well with all styles.
best cooling comforter
Slumber Cloud Lightweight Cooling Comforter
This superior comforter has a feathery feel, but no ethical concerns. It keeps your hot sleep tester cool even in summer and is incredibly comfortable. The only problem is that it is the best cooling comforter so it is a bit thin. If you want your bedspread to look luxurious, this may not work for you.
best cooling mattress
Casper Wave Hybrid Snow Mattress
Our expert reviewers felt this mattress literally felt cold to the touch. In fact, it’s the best cooling mattress out there, and it held up well even through a muggy Georgia heat wave without air conditioning.A great investment if you sleep hot, but in reality investment – Our biggest criticism is the high price.
Is there scientific evidence to support “sleep divorce”?
Few scientific studies have specifically examined the pros and cons of co-sleeping in terms of objective sleep quality, and the researchers who have studied them have come up with conflicting results. However, although there is no objective way to measure irregular sleep, anecdotal evidence suggests that most people who choose to sleep separately say their sleep has improved.
According to Dr. Brawing, “Nearly 53% of adults who started sleep divorce said sleep divorce improved their sleep quality.” [they had] You get 37 minutes more sleep each night when you sleep separately than when you share a bed. ”
Can Sleep Divorce Improve Your Relationship?
nutrition coach liberty mills She also told me that she had recently tried a sleep divorce and that it had worked out very well for her and her partner.
“As a nutrition and fertility coach, you may be surprised to learn that my partner and I have had a ‘sleep divorce’ over the past 18 months. We started sleeping in separate rooms because I’m an early riser and my partner is a night owl, so I wanted to keep our rhythms together. Come into your room to read a book, play cards, catch up without a screen, and connect. Then I go to sleep, he goes to the movies, reads a book, and an hour or so later comes back to another place. Bedroom.
“In the morning I can get up, leave the house, go to the gym without disturbing him, come back as bright as a button, smile and bring coffee to bed,” she added. .
Liberty is a nutrition coach specializing in hormones, fertility and autoimmune diseases.
What are the benefits of sleep divorce?
“Sleep divorce can dramatically improve relationships. Sleep is an integral part of our overall health, especially our mental health.” Jenin Estes, a certified marriage and family therapist and owner of Esthetherapy. “When you don’t get enough sleep, you lose control over your emotions, you find it harder to tolerate each other, you develop resentments and you get into more arguments, all of which creates rifts in your relationships,” says the author of the book. Jenin says. Support for conflict-prone couples, he told me. The more rested the body is, the better a person can regulate their emotions, empathize with others, and communicate more effectively.
The first advantage is obvious. Sleep divorce improves sleep quality. When sleeping separately, each partner can create their own quietness and bedtime routine without being disturbed. They can stay quiet, create their own rituals, and sleep soundly when they finally go to bed.
Second, ironically, a sleep divorce can improve your relationship. It’s simple – enough sleep improves quality of life and relationships. Getting enough rest increases your ability to regulate your emotions, reduces irritability, improves your mood, makes you more patient with others, and helps you solve problems better.
Finally, it can directly improve your intimacy. Not only do you need to get enough rest and be less irritable with your partner, but you also need to be intentionally intimate. Paradoxically, we can be together even when we are apart. Because you have to make time for your partner instead of being close to them by default. A sleep divorce requires couples to make intimacy a clear and definite priority.
Jenin is a marriage and family therapist and CEO of Estes Therapy, which specializes in relationship counseling. Jenin holds a Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and is currently licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist MFT (LMFT#47653) by the Board for Behavioral Sciences (BBS).
What are the disadvantages of sleep divorce?
However, there are of course drawbacks to consider. The first is shame. Sleep divorce is stigmatized, and couples often hide the fact that they sleep separately. As shame continues to grow, it’s important to talk about it and acknowledge that sleep dynamics are a normal part of your life.
That shame is judgmental. In the United States, there is still a cultural expectation that if people sleep separately, there must be problems in their relationship. If you think a sleep divorce will work for you, be confident in your decision to sleep separately.
Finally, if you don’t take the time to create intimate moments, you may lose some connection with your partner. The beginning and end of the day with your partner is a very intimate bond. Sleeping in the same bed creates room for intimacy, intimacy, spontaneous conversations, and connections. Sleep divorce removes this factor if you don’t spend time with your partner.
One of my favorite sleep divorce tips is to try using two single comforters on a shared double bed instead of one. Not only is it a good option if space is limited and you don’t have a separate bedroom, but it’s also a useful compromise if you don’t want to sleep in separate beds.