One mother provided a heartfelt and emotional update on the r/parenting subreddit about how her mental health changed during the first year of parenting. She admitted to suffering from her postpartum depression and anxiety, which resulted in her saying, “When my son was born, I didn’t want to be his mother.”
A mother who “hated” being a mother shared a hopeful story about her past year.
She explained that although her son was “praised, planned, and loved after a positive pregnancy test,” her emotional lows due to postpartum depression and anxiety persisted. Although she provided him with nurturing and care, “everything felt like a chore. I couldn’t find joy in what I was doing.”
The mother honestly evaluated the tender months since her son was born, saying, “I was happy that my son was born into this world, but I pray that someone would come and pick him up.”
The dissonance she felt is not uncommon, especially for mothers who experience postpartum mood disorders.
The Office of Women’s Health, a division of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, says that while a person’s body and mind inevitably change during pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum, people may feel hopeless, worthless, or disconnected from their baby. He explained that feeling this can cause the following symptoms: Onset of postpartum mood disorder.
of The Office On Women’s Health notes: Nine new mothers report having postpartum depression, but this statistic does not include unreported or undiagnosed cases. New moms often feel depressed and ashamed when society’s expectations reinforce the idea that all mothers fall in love with their babies right away. However, that expectation is not always realistic and does not represent what many mothers actually feel.
In addition to treatment and therapy, the Office on Women’s Health offered some guidelines on how to start the healing process, including seeking help with household chores and getting as much rest as possible. She also suggests that mothers express their feelings out loud as a way to acknowledge and voice what they are experiencing. There are some simple things a mother can try to normalize the experience of postpartum depression, such as meeting her friends or talking to other mothers.
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A year after the birth of her son, the mother is being treated for postpartum mood disorder and feels that she is missing the love she once feared. She explained: “It hurts because I love him so much. I love being his mother.”
Mothers were able to have an honest understanding of parenting and accept mothers for who they are, rather than an idealized version of them.
“I’ve come to the conclusion that I just don’t like the baby phase,” she explained. “And it’s okay.”
She recognized that continuing to take high doses of antidepressants would help regulate and stabilize her mood, but giving herself the grace to love her son without loving him through infancy was clearly a challenge. It was a revelation.
“I’m finally seeing the light,” she said. “And I can’t wait for the next stage, maybe even enjoying early childhood more. I’m full of hope, but a year ago was full of darkness.”
The mother’s story proves the fact that no emotion is permanent, no matter how painful it may be at first.
She shared her story to give hope to other parents in similar situations, emphasizing that “it’s okay to hate.” [the] baby stage. You are not a weirdo or a bad person. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be a mother. ”
Photo: Criativa Pix Fotografia / Pexels
She ended her post with a sweet message to her son. “Happy birthday my beautiful and sweet angel boy. Mommy loves you.”
She shows us that the level of parental love is a powerful one, even if it doesn’t fit the type of love that society expects from people.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango’s news and entertainment team. She covers everything related to parenting, pop culture analysis, and the entertainment industry.